Bought crackers are a paper hat, a joke you have heard and a plastic toy that is in the bin by Boxing Day. Homemade crackers cost about the same and can hold something each guest will keep. They are easy to make, they look wonderful on the table, and you choose every joke.
What you need
For each cracker:
- One cardboard tube: a toilet roll tube, or a paper towel tube cut in three.
- A sheet of wrapping paper, brown paper or wallpaper offcut, about 30 centimetres by 20.
- A cracker snap. These are the strips that make the bang. Craft shops and online sellers have them in packs. Leave them out for a household with babies, pets or anyone who hates loud noises.
- Two lengths of ribbon or twine.
- Double-sided tape or a glue stick.
- A paper hat, a joke and a gift.
How to make them
One. Lay the paper face down. Put three tubes in a row along one long edge: your filled tube in the middle and a spare tube on each side, with a finger-width gap between them. The spare tubes are only there to help shape the ends.
Two. Slide the cracker snap through the middle tube so it sticks out both ends. Put the hat, joke and gift inside the middle tube.
Three. Run tape along the far edge of the paper. Roll the paper round the tubes and press the seam down.
Four. Gently twist and pinch the paper in the gaps between the tubes. Tie each pinch with ribbon. Do not pull too tight or the paper will tear.
Five. Slide the two spare tubes out of the ends. The paper keeps its shape. Use those tubes for the next cracker.
Six. Decorate: a name tag, a sprig of rosemary, a stamped star.
A tip for pulling: hold the cracker by the pinched part so each person has hold of an end of the snap.
Paper hats
Cut a strip of tissue paper about 60 centimetres long and 10 high. Fold it in half three times and cut a point across the top to make the crown zigzag. Unfold and glue the ends together. Or fold a hat from a page of newspaper, which holds up better outside in a breeze.
Fillings worth keeping
For grown-ups:
- A packet of seeds.
- A wrapped chocolate truffle.
- A miniature of something to drink.
- A lip balm, a small soap or a tea light.
- A scratch ticket.
- A handwritten note about your favourite moment with them this year.
For children:
- A small wooden toy, a bouncy ball or a set of jacks.
- A Lego figure.
- A badge, stickers or a temporary tattoo.
- A marble or a shell.
- A voucher in your handwriting: "Stay up 30 minutes late", "Choose the movie", "One trip for ice cream".
Use our top 8 stocking fillers for more small things. For children under three, nothing small enough to swallow and no snaps.
Jokes for a Kiwi Christmas
- What do you call Santa at the beach? Sandy Claus.
- What do sheep say at Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
- Why did the kiwi cross the road? To prove he was not a chicken.
- What does Santa do in his garden? Hoe, hoe, hoe.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite.
- Which of Santa's reindeer has the best manners? Comet. He is not Rudolph.
- What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet.
- Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
Better still, have the children write the jokes. A six-year-old's joke gets a bigger laugh than any of these.
Instead of a joke
- A question for the table: "What was the best day of your year?"
- A dare: "Sing the first line of a carol."
- A piece of a puzzle or a line of a treasure hunt that only works when everyone's cracker is put together.
Make them low waste
Use paper that can be recycled, skip plastic toys, and tie with twine or fabric ribbon you can use again. Brown paper stamped with white stars looks more expensive than foil. There are more ideas in our Christmas wrapping guide.
When to make them
Collect tubes from November. Make the crackers in the week before Christmas and keep them somewhere dry. This is a good job for an evening in front of something from our Christmas comfort watch list, and children from about seven can make their own from start to finish.
One more surprise for the table
Put a note in your child's cracker that says "Listen for the phone." Then have Santa ring at the time you booked. It is the one cracker prize nobody else at the table will get.